One gameshow contestant
about to get rich,
Is worth five hundred Africans
Dead in a ditch.
Don’t trouble yourself
Or lower the pitch,
Where’s the remote
I’m ready to switch.
Too much suffering on the satellite feed,
They say that I have, compassion fatigue.
Dry and hollow,
Like an empty heart.
Pierce my spirit
Pull me apart.
Nowhere to run,
From the swell of the flood,
The waters of life
are filling with blood.
Too much suffering on the satellite feed,
They say that I have compassion fatigue.
I can’t be Jesus,
I can’t be free,
I don’t know god,
Does he know me?
I move on,
From one mistake to the next,
Sometimes I feel ,
Like I've got nothing left.
Too much suffering on the satellite feed,
They say that I have compassion fatigue.
In the shadow of death,
I fall to the floor.
Divided like spoil,
Overthrown like the poor.
From the dust of the earth,
From the life of the land.
The little they have,
Is torn from their hands.
Too much suffering on the satellite feed,
They say that I have compassion fatigue.
Some days I wonder why I even keep a weblog.
My stats per month ratio,
says that this month, I'm due somewhere in the region of 35,000 hits.
In one form or another, that's the amount of eyeball and eardrum
traffic that will arrive
on my stat sheet anyway. Yet my comments
pages are relatively empty, and my
e-mail in-tray is largely full of Junk or replies from the few folks I
have regular contact with already!
I work so hard to put together a regular podcast, and to blog about
interesting news and events. Yet for some reason, whoever reads or
listens to this content must be a mute with no hands, because the lack
of feedback is truly deafening.
On that basis, I wonder how long I'll continue with this work. It takes
a lot of time after all, and I'm sure that there must be other
rewarding ways to spend my evenings! So, if you're reading this, and
have derived any value, (at any time!) from my site, do me a favor and
let me know.
I’m fresh I’m ready I’m hyped I’m amped,
Most of my heroes don’t appear on stamps.
I’m fused I’m wired, I’m lean, I’m kind,
full of information, I’m flowing through mind.
I’m flooded I’m open, I’m coded I’m free,
I’m noise on the line of the community.
constantly central, at the periphary
I’m out at the edge, where I want to be.
I’m a voice conversation that you can’t tap,
a coded signal, that you can’t crack.
A continuous message that you don’t hear.
A restricted access that you can’t get near.
I go out into the street, and worldwide,
modulating to, the other side.
Updated and private when it suits my need,
activated for access, configured for speed.
I’m a system of knowledge you can’t comprehend,
a last number redial, that only rings for my freinds.
I’m an analog signal, in a digital stream,
electrical energy loud enough to scream,
I’m a sample from the universe, I play in real time,
got an infinite RAM chip inside my mind.
I’m on unrestricted bandwith
and I’m singing this song,
by the time you’re recieving me,
baby I’m gone..
out into the street, and worldwide,
modulating to, the other side.
Walking thru a world on fire
flame is hot and getting higher,
shoeless feet can feel it burning,
tell me what we should be learning?
Hard to see the things that matter,
glowing thru the raging color,
Flame consumes the thing its burning,
leaving ashes in return.
Till it reveals, what it conceals.
I know that love will never die
no matter how strong or how high
the flame keeps climbing in this world.
Deeply in and darkly burning
greed and envy keep on turning,
hungry hearts can feel them yearning,
tell me what we should be learning?
Hard to breathe in smoke and sorrow,
ash obscures a bright tomorrow.
All the treasure that we borrow
one day we will repay.
I know that love will never die
no matter how or strong or how high
the flame keeps climbing in this world
Sometimes I feel that for all the apparent friendliness of the online
world, it covers something a little superficial. Relationships are so
easily controlled, when intimacy is mediated through a screen. We
manipulate our contact with others, and filter out unwelcome
intrusions. Serendipity is lost, and the notion of the beautiful
accident, becomes simply another user preference. Everything is
personalized to the nth degree, and our experience is ever more
momentary, and fragmentary.
Somehow, through a combination of circumstance, and perhaps unwise
choice, I seem to have conspired to have preserved very few
friendships. This applies even more so in the 'real' world. I have
simply lost physical contact, with people that I once loved, or was
close with. One or the other of us moved away, and despite promises to
the contrary, contact was not maintained.
I envy those people who seem able to form friendships almost at will.
They never seem to be short of a welcoming voice to discuss the ups and
downs of this complex life with. I wonder wether I simply don't have
the kind of personality that enables me to be 'likeable' in this way.
As anyone can see, with only a cursory glance around my blog, I don't
exactly have a comfortable view of the world, and I'm not one of those
people, who hold a consensus view. Unfortunately, I've learned from
experience, that most people like to have their prejudices reinforced.
Still, I miss the warmth and security of being part of a crowd. I don't
enjoy the isolation of holding views and opinions that the majority
reject. Most people don't bother to actively seek the truth about the
way in which this world operates. Perhaps because unconsciously, they
fear that they might find it. Nobody likes to discover that the cosy
'reality' they cling too, with all it's creature comforts,
distractions, and diversions, is simply a construct, and is
illusionary, and finally, temporary.
Perhaps that is why true friendships are hard to find, and as a result,
are worth so very much in this age of instantaneous gratification.
Because they contradict all of our comfortable notions. They survive
argument and disagreement, and ultimately they base themselves on a
real and deep acceptance of our flaws and insecurities.
The problem, (if it can be called that), with online relationships, is
that they take place at a controlled distance, and are normally
temporary and fleeting. They often fade quickly, once the initial
stages have passed, and they are rarely resumed. Of course sometimes,
they intersect with the real world, and, in some cases, they blossom
into real and lasting friendships. But in this age of online
everything, people seem more comfortable with distance, than with the
kind of penetrating closeness that friendship with another human soul
can sometimes entail.
I arrived back from London very tired, and my head has not yet had time
to settle. My thoughts are still not in anything like a sensible
state, and to be honest, neither is the rest of me! The last 10 hours I
spent in the capitol were pretty awful, though this had nothing to do
with the conference, or any one at it. Merely some unpleasant stuff
that happened to me at the hotel where I was staying.
Without going into any detail, there were a series of highly charged
moments, that culminated in an extremely frazzled mid-day version of
me, being made to feel like a common criminal! It resolved
itself, with a series of apologies from the hotel duty manager, and the
promise of a thorough investigation into certain 'employee
irregularities'. But these were a long time coming, and by the time
they arrived, I was already sitting in Kings Cross checking my
transport options out of the city! I was planning to do more in
Londinium, but the attitude I bumped into last night and early today,
made me re-evaluate those plans, and precipitated an earlier exit from
the city than I had anticipated.
Fortunately, I met a really cool old couple from Newcastle on the train
back. They'd been married 25 years, and had been in London visiting
their son and his girlfriend. We chatted in depth for a few good miles,
and their kindness and humor did much to restore my flagging spirits.
The old girl was in a wheelchair, and had been that way all her life.
She met her husband when she was interned in a hospital/care-home and
he had worked there as a gardener. Apparently it caused a bit of
a stir when they decided to get married! But love is love, and you
can't legislate it away. They were good ''salt of the earth" folk
though, and meeting them cheered me up considerably.
The conference itself was pretty damn cool, and once I've had time to
rearrange the mental furniture, I'll be putting together a
podcast. I scored a few good interviews, and had an exciting and
informative day. There was a lot of energy in the room, and from what
I saw the future for independent UK media is a pretty bright one. What
I will say now, is that it was brilliant to see the UK scene stepping
up to the plate in such a forthright mannner, and there was a really
eclectic and eccentric (!) mix of folks there.
I really enjoyed the live show from Richard Vobes, and was very
impressed with the presentations from Mark Hunter of the excellent Tartan Podcast, and Milverton Wallace.
In general all the speakers contributed interesting ideas, and Neil
Dixon did a good job of keeping everything moving along with a few
doses of carefully applied good humor.
I'll have quite a bit more to say about all of this, but for now you
can check out the folllowing links for photos and information;
I've been in London since around mid-day, ahead
of podcastconuk tommorow. To be truthful, it hasn't been the
most massively productive of days for me. I've been awake for somewhere
in the region of 40 hours straight, and have entered a glassy eyed,
almost psychedelic state, that resembles a warm fuzzy haze! Either way,
my brain and body activity has slowed to a slow crawl!
To be honest, London has surprised me by how little it
appears to have been radically altered by the events of
7/7. This may be a superficial assesment, it's difficult to say on
so short a visit. Cities are resilient creatures at the best and worst
of times, and a beast of a city like London, perhaps has a tougher
hide than most. So far, the place seems largely to be carrying on
as normal. Perhaps as the weeks have passed, the events have simply
been pushed to the outer edges of the peoples awareness. Not forgotten
exactly, simply not given the same level of concious
attention. Londoner's have seen off similar
attacks before, and no doubt will do so again. When all is said
and done, this is one tough cookie of a town!
I'm holed up in a moderately appointed hotel, just off
Piccadily Circus, and have enjoyed the background hum of metropolitan
activity. There's a wild and untamed Friday night
energy emanating all around me, and everyone is wearing their best
going somewhere fast expression.
I took a little wander over to the hotel hosting tommorow's
conference earlier, and was very surprised by the upmarket feel of the
gaff. We've certainly come a long way from a little meet-up in a pub
somewhere proposed by podcastpaul earlier
in the year. The conference has mushroomed from a bunch of Brits
chatting on a forum back in April/May, to an event with
an unmistakeably international feel. A remarkable achievement to
be sure, and one that all involved in organising, deserve a whole heap
of credit for.
I'm not entirely sure what to expect tommorow, though the conference will undoubtedly have a special energy, because of the Britcaster
connection. I don't know yet, quite how I'm going to approach it
from a blogging/casting viewpoint, I guess I'll leave it loose for now,
and see where the (virtual) winds and the energies of the event
take me.
I really need sleep, but I plan to take a leisurely
soundseeing stroll first. Then I'll meander back to the hotel, have a
shower, and crash out with the tv for company in anticipation of
an early start tommorow.Whatever the day brings, one things is for
sure, they'll be at least 150 other people to actively share it with.
So, roll on podcastconuk, lets meet and greet, talk podcasting, and all
things related, and generally create a whole heap of energy. Lets
see what a room full of people with a common passion can come up with.
In fact, lets get on with it!
It's been a deliriously busy week! I've recorded three (and a half)
podcasts, including a personal 'family-cast' for my brother in Japan,
and I'm currently editing two more! These include a soundseeing tour I
did of the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry, and a new fan
football cast, (which goes out this week), based around Manchester
United Football Club. To that end, I spent part of the weekend
conducting interviews and prepping content for the first edition of the
ManUtdPodcast in and around the ground at Old Trafford, and the rest of the time at home editing and recording.
This week I'm heading down to London for PodcastConUK.
The first ever convention of UK podcasting people! I'm really looking
forward to putting faces to names, and names to voices, with a whole
bunch of folks that I know only from online forums, chats, podcasts,
and the monthly Britpack.
All in all I'm pretty tired. But tired in a way that makes a good kind
of sense. I really enjoy podcasting, particularly when it involves
interacting with the people on the street, rather than sitting at home
recording in isolation. Not that producing a lone-wolf type show
doesn't have it's merits also, but it's a lot of fun, and a challenge,
to get out and about and interact with life in the real world! :)
My stats per month ratio,
says that this month, I'm due somewhere in the region of 35,000 hits.
In one form or another, that's the amount of eyeball and eardrum
traffic that will arrive
on my stat sheet anyway. Yet my comments
pages are relatively empty, and my
e-mail in-tray is largely full of Junk
or replies from the few folks I
have regular contact with already! 
Yet for some reason, whoever reads or
listens to this content must be a mute with no hands,
because the lack
of feedback is truly deafening.
So, if you're reading this, and
have derived any value, (at any time!) from my site, do me a favor and
let me know.
